Saturday, May 24, 2008

Should I stay or should I go now?

Many people waste years in unhappy relationships...they make no effort to improve their day to day existence but neither do they make that jump.......only after the other person moves on, dies, dumps them do they realise how much time they have wasted.

What if you could control everything that happened to you? What if you could mold your partner into exactly the type of person you wanted to live with? Would you stay or go? What if there is a much easier option? What if you could change yourself? Not prepared to.....leave then.

The behaviour we expect of others in a relationship is often unrealistic. For example, my ex husband (a Man Utd fan) rang me at midnight on Wednesday to tell me that Man Utd had won. If he had done that whilst we were married I would have gone nuts!!!! I would have called him a selfish pig and he would definitely have been sleeping in the spare room. Now I simply find his behaviour amusing.

Are you nice to your spouse? Do you greet him/her with affection or do you barely glance when he/she arrives home? Are you more polite to strangers? What can you do this lovely Bank Holiday to make your relationship work? Remember it's never too late......................

Friday, May 23, 2008

Does a child need a father?

Apparently not if the child is created via IVF for the benefit of lesbian couples or single women. Most of the newspapers have covered the recent House of Commons vote and the Daily Mail is suitably outraged!

Glad that's sorted out....and it will make the explanation of the birds and the bees to a 5 year old far simpler. By the time these children are grown no doubt cloning will be in vogue so not knowing who your dad is will be a minor issue.

Only one problem - maybe the child will grow up with a desperate longing to know and no fortune teller in the land can solve that one. If I could choose my dad it would of course be my own but my fantasy dad would be Alan Sugar. Social workers warn of the dangers associated with a fantasy father figure ...oh dear life is ever more complicated!!!

Monday, May 12, 2008

When you feel you can't cope

The stress of divorce can be enormous and people can tip over into depression if they are not careful. It is normal to be prescribed mild anti depressants to help you through the situation but so many people talk of increased anxiety, fear of the future and the fact that their life is out of control. Waking up at 5 am is not uncommon.

What can you do?

The best mood lifter is regular exercise. If one exercises every day for at least 40 minutes one will feel better - guaranteed! I stopped exercising regularly recently and it had a bad impact on my mood and my stress coping mechanism. I have started again and I feel great. Try it - it works!!!!

The next thing you should try is meditation......

Forcing oneself to shift from a feeling of hopeless resignation and despair to an exhilarating feeling of hope and anticipation for the future can be as easy as slipping on one's training shoes......

Friday, May 09, 2008

How many possessions do you need?

Sorry I have not been blogging much recently but I am expecting a baby and I have been busy knitting!!!!!

When people get divorced there can be many areas of dispute - the divorce itself (pointless) the children ( heartbreaking) the matrimonial finances ( often disproportionate) domestic violence and injunctions ( necessary because the police are sporadic in their approach).

Most people worry about what their rights are. They argue over the spoils of the past and sacrifice present and future opportunities in order to win the battle. Just how important are these wasting assets?

Jodie Foster years ago lived in a hotel and said that she was so rich she did not need to own anything - all of her clothes were hired or loaned to her by Armani. The freedom of wealth meant that she had no responsibility for any possessions.

What do you want and what is important to you?

All I want is for my baby to be healthy and my children to be happy and to spend time with the people I love. Isn't that the same for you?