Thursday, December 30, 2010

Fancy Going on a Course to Save your marriage?

According to The Telegraph the Government are now considering sending separating couples on a course to show them the impact their divorce will have on their children. Apparently it works in Norway.

What is the infidelity rate in Norway?

I know it's dark a lot and people are good at handicrafts, skating and other winter sports.

What is the obesity rate like in Norway?

What about the use of internet porn and computer addiction?

What about the rate of alcohol consumption and domestic violence?

I imagine their culture is very different to ours and taking one statistic out of context may not work here.

If the Government wants to reduce divorce and the breakdown in cohabitation in this country it need to look at its own policies. Why do so many people have children they cannot afford? Why are single mothers better off without a partner due to the generous tax credits system?

I spoke with a lawyer who specialises in legal aid last week and her comments were distressing indeed. Stop people having children she said. Mothers who have their fifth child when the others have already been taken into care are surely causing themselves distress as well as their children? Were there less of these pregnancies when everyone was scared of aids?

People do not make the decision to divorce lightly and their reasons are usually valid and genuine. Research now suggests that adult children of divorce fare better than those in homes where their parents are always fighting. Surely the real challenge is to make people be nicer to each other?

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Want a divorce? Put on some weight!!!

Apparently men go off women who add girth... even if it is only half a stone as reported in the Daily Mail

Is that surprising? Look at how many beautiful women are married to less beautiful men.

No doubt there will be a follow up report saying that women go off men who lose their money.

Would that surprise you?

Some people marry for love

Some people marry for companionship

Some people marry for money

Some people marry for looks

Some people marry for their parents

Some people marry for their children

Some people marry for... add in your own story

Why does the world pretend that everyone marries for love and then act surprised when someone bales out because the bargain they struck has been broken?

Whatever the reasons people marry, when they divorce it is painful and society needs to offer more support and guidance as opposed to judgement and condemnation. Remember in every divorce there is usually one party who is forced down that road, who would like to remain married but who is rejected and hurt and then condemned as selfish and a quitter by the rest of society.

Marriages should have regular MOT's like cars then perhaps more could be saved!!

Merry Christmas everybody!!!!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Rise in numbers of women killed in domestic violence

101 women were killed by their partners or ex partners last year according to The Guardian

The article is interesting asking why people stay in abusive relationships... the stark truth is fear, women and children are most at risk at the point of leaving.

Unfortunately wife beaters don't have a tattoo on their forehead... maybe they should. Maybe this would be a cheaper and more effective punishment than prison. Use semi permanent make up so that it only lasts 3 to 5 years.

Women become involved with abusers who are initially charming and caring until there is a catalyst for change.

What of the children who witness this abuse? The Government is trying to focus on the problem. Trying to help victims can be frustrating when they go back to the abuser time and again. Trying to stop the cycle of abuse is the challenge. It is so hard to help people. I knew someone 20 years ago who was so badly beaten up by her husband, broken jaw and teeth knocked out that she told the hospital she had been in a car accident. I heard recently that she is still with her husband.