Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Divorce for over 60's on rise...

More people over 60 are getting divorced, which is the opposite trend to the rest of the nation's age groups.

The Telegraph cites the following reasons:

1. People are living longer so don't want to stay forever in an unhappy relationship. (Not if you have another 30 years left anyway...).

2. Less stigma attached to divorce (surely that has been the case for 30 plus years?).

3. That old silver fox...  men with a wandering eye syndrome.  (I blame viagra).

I have a few ideas of my own:

1. There are more people married who are 60 plus as marriage becomes less popular so the 60 plus age group makes up a bigger slice of a diminishing cake.

2. Some of these are second or third divorces.

3. Companionship has been replaced by gadgets.

4. Relatives are now encouraging them to divorce as opposed to pressurising them to stay together.

5. Religion has lost it's standing in our society, for the white ethnic group of which a large majority of the 60 plus age group will be.

6. The state will support you again. There is a void when people's children leave home where they are  forced to be more financially independent of state support unless they are in the benefit system per se.

7. Options... the world has opened up a lot more.

Fascinating.  There are lots of reasons why people divorce at whatever age.  However, divorce can only happen when one or both parties no longer place a value on the relationship.   

Saturday, August 03, 2013

Children Lose Contact with Their Father

A recent report has stated that a total of 1 million children of England and Wales have lost  'meaningful contact' with their father upon their parents separation and divorce. 'Meaningful contact' is defined as seeing their father at least twice per year. In certain areas of Liverpool, over 60% of the households are in this group. They are brought up by single mothers and it is reported that they live in male desserts as it is reported that there is no male teachers at their primary school.

How can the government improve this new situation? There are many reasons why parents lose contact with their children;
  1. They were never involved in the first place. For example, the mother became pregnant and was not in a committed relationship.
  2. There is extreme acrimony between the parents.
  3. There is no pressure upon them either from themselves or society to maintain a committed relationship with their children.
  4. The relationship with the child has broken down either due to their behaviour or their ex-spouse's behaviour... the term parental alienation is not recognised by the courts but children can be turned against the non resident parent by the resident parent.
  5. There is a history of domestic violence.
  6. Geography, such as the mother living a long way from the father, and finances prevent contact taking place.
People are quick to judge single mothers and also non-resident fathers.

An in depth study of the profile of this group of children is needed to gather any strategic plan. If a large majority of these children are born  to mothers who have no relationship with their fathers with no means of earning to support them, why is this? Is it the fault of the benefit system or the lack of opportunity to these young girls who see having a child as their most favourable financial option? Perhaps this make it too small minority, and perhaps the vast majority of these fathers are what used to be termed as feckless. How to you prevent young men from becoming feckless? Is it too easy to create a child in today's sexually free society? So how can we turn the clock back? Is it even desirable to do so? The power of statistics taken out of context creates alarm and prejudice.