Government u turn on fathers rights

Well, children's rights actually.  Rather than accept that giving father's a stronger role in law in their children's lives post separation may be harmful, the Cabinet revolt, led by Ian Duncan Smith and Nick Clegg has stated that there will be an overhaul of the Children Act 1989.

This will overturn the family justice review, which last November concluded no change needed and that increasing father's rights, even the right to maintain a meaningful relationship "would do more harm than good".

Parents are to be discouraged from going to Court and further encouraged to mediate - this objective seems to run through every proposal on family law.  Cuts in legal aid - mediate.  Can't see your children - mediate.

This news will be welcomed by lots of estranged fathers who feel that the Courts are biased against them.  It does seem odd that parental responsibility is designed to give equal rights and duties to both parents but post separation it is often the case that the mother makes unilateral decisions as to when the father can see their children.  It is also frustrating when the mother labels the father as "controlling" because he will not accept the limited contact with the children she offers.

It will be interesting to see what they actually do - anything short of an assumption of 50/50 care post separation will probably lack impact. 

It is reported in  The Daily Mail

What hapened in Family Law in 2011?

The rules changed... New Family Procedural Rules came in with the new fiscal year so ... more delay with mistakes happening ...

Reduction in Court Service... due to financial cuts

Increase in number of care applications... baby P response

Increase in the number of divorces in 2010 ( bit slow on the figures coming through)... blamed on the recession and not on affairs... survey of lawyers stated more people get divorced because they have gone off their partner not because one has had an affair.  In my experience if one party has an affair the other goes off them...  Lots of anecdotal talk about people being too worried about the financial crisis to have an affair. Really?

Increase in number of Children Act Applications for Residence and Contact... a bit like the prisons... we need a reduction in people using this resource because we cannot cope....

Somewhat coincidentally anyone contemplating litigating their finances or children matters has to go for a Mediation Assessment

Lots more Mediators around... or does it just feel like that?  Reminds me of HIPS... the main people who gain will be the training providers

Bill to withdraw Legal Aid unless domestic violence proved (via an injunction or an arrest so the law needs to be involved), a forced marriage or a threat to have your children taken into care.... the Lords are still debating this....

The COOP will be offering a nationwide divorce service via its 5000 outlets and has employed at least 2 lawyers....

No new laws for Cohabitants but a great new case from the Supreme Court which was fair on the facts but opens the door for yet more litigation..

In summary.... the numbers have increased and the facilities have reduced...











 

Change equals fear or excitement - You choose

The fear of change can paralyse some people into staying in an unhappy situation for years.

I am grateful to Rosie Hamilton-McGinty for describing the difference between fear and excitement as parallel lines - like railway tracks.  They are so close and the choice to switch is easy.

Think of a fairground ride - some are terrified and some relish the adrenalin rush. It's the same ride just a different perspective.

Divorce and separation means change and events happening that are out of your control.  You can embrace the change and look forward to a new beginning.  Perhaps a change in career as well as marital status - lots of  people use forced change to implement wanted change as well.

Some people can't cope with the change and sink into depression to avoid facing the future.  Some people are so afraid of change they use emotional blackmail to trap their partner - attempted suicide being the extreme.  Divorce is stressful and painful for everyone.  The first step in dealing with the change of separation, whether the choice is yours or not, is to accept that it is happening.  Accept that you will lose your past life.  Accept that you may be lonely, sad, fed up, lost and alone. Understand that everything changes. No one knows what lies ahead whether married or not.  Something totally unexpected will happen in the next 4 weeks which will change your life.  Mark the date in your diary and then look back in 4 weeks time and note what happened - good or bad that you did not expect.  Isn't that exciting?  We all have that life... do not fear life itself...

Planning on getting married again?

Unsurprisingly a number of people who get divorced do get married again.  If you are in that exciting group then check out SimonJohn photography.  Simon is a friend and neighbour of mine and is passionate about photography and it shows in his work.  Every wedding is individual and Simon's portraits make it so.  The shot above is one of his... need I say more?

What's a 37 inch TV worth? 18 months!!!

I am grateful to other legal bloggers for diverting my interest from Family Law to that of the sentences passed down to the first convicted rioters today.  I felt a smile of gladness when I read the Judgement. It is reported by the BBC  

So many people feel that the criminal justice system is unfair - that it is weighted in favour of the criminal - the victim is forgotten and the human rights of the perpetrator take priority.  Years ago I heard the Chief of  Police from one of the Southern Counties stating, tongue in cheek, that a return to Botany Bay may be in order to redress the balance.

Criminal law is about four things:

1.  Punishment or retribution

2.  Prevention of vigilantism - people must have faith that the criminal justice system works

3.  Deterrent - both to the perpetrator and others

4.  Protection of the public

Matrimonial law is about one thing:

Dividing the assets according to judicial discretion.

There is no punishment or retribution.

So many people feel that the law relating to divorce is unfair and rewards the wrong doer.

So often a case is based on need and behaviour will be ignored unless it has the gasp factor. We do mean shocking, for example, the husband shot the wife and she could not work so needed extra help from him but he was sent to prison so had no income - therefore she needed his capital to replace it.

Getting past the disbelief of the unfairness of it all is the first step for many people. Acceptance of the process may then result in the parties negotiating fairly - perhaps via mediation.... our new site is launched today... 

Still wondering if it's worth having a pre nuptial agreement?

Let this be a lesson to you.

Britain's biggest divorce payout has been reported in The Guardian The divorce of Russian Oligarch Boris Berezovsky resulted in a payout to his ex wife estimated to be in excess of  £100 million.

They did not have a pre nuptial agreement....

Divorced women over 40 - on the slagheap

According to The Guardian women over 40 should give up on online dating. Men are looking for younger models and will not be interested unless they are considerably older. Maybe those contemplating divorce should be given this bleak warning... If you kick him out don't expect anything better and be prepared to take on a man 20 years older.  The delightful prospect of caring for someone in their declining years comes into focus if you are a woman 50 plus.

Online dating is a beauty parade.  Anyone who pretends it isn't is wasting their money.

What are men looking for:

Good looking, slim younger women who have no baggage.

What are women looking for:

Good looking men who are of a similar age.

Does anyone go on online dating and deliberately select someone who is ugly?

What about people who post photos 10 years out of date?

Photos of their friend?

Lie about their age?

Lie about their income?

Lie about their job?

Lie about their marital status?

In other words the world is full of frogs pretending to be Princes.

If you are a Princess keep searching and reject the rejects.  If you are not then... maybe lower your sights.

Online dating is an exchange - work out your level, be prepared to be rejected, or give up and try meeting people the old fashioned way.

There are lots of people out there who have given up on dating.  What they are looking for does not exist. Before getting into the arena work out what you have got to offer.  What do you want from a relationship? Some people are looking for love, some companionship, some sex, some money, some simply wish to escape from loneliness.

My advice to all those women with baggage - use your circumstances to weed out all the unsuitable men at an early stage. Scared your kids will scare him off?   He was not looking for a loving relationship and probably never will be....

Cameron slates absent fathers

Father's who exit from their children's lives should feel Society's disapproval and be stigmatised like drink drivers says David Cameron in The Sunday Telegraph.

This statement assumes that all absent fathers are solely responsible for the position their children are in.  Some are indeed feckless, but not all.   

 

What about mothers who make contact difficult? Who alienate their children from their father?  Who devote their time to ruining contact, to making children feel guilty and who keep a bitter argument going for years? Some of these are the same single mothers who are roundly praised for bringing up children alone.

If David Cameron truly wants fathers to play a full role in their children's lives perhaps the balance of power should be adjusted? That, after all, was why parental responsibility was  brought into effect and why the terms custody and access were changed to residence and contact.  

Some Governments assume fifty fifty shared care on separation. Would this work here? Some fathers are not interested in having such a role but many are.  If children have regular contact with their non resident parent they virtually have two homes in any event. This would have a direct impact on finances.  Many mothers would be reluctant to accept this due to a significant loss of income.  Maybe the whole children's tax credit situation needs to be redesigned? It amazes me the amount people are paid to work less provided they have children - this whole system encourages single parenting and has developed the 16 hour working week.  What are children growing up in such an environment to think?  Oh yes, we have one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancies in Europe....

Separating and want to grab your ex's financial documents?

When couples separate there is often a lack of trust.  This can be based upon events that have happened or worry and anxiety about events that might happen.  Often there is suspicion that the other party is not supplying the true picture of their finances.  Thinking that your ex is going to be less than honest about his/her financial situation can encourage some to take action in what used to be termed "self help" in matrimonial finances and take and copy financial documents for use in their case.

This is no longer accepted by the family courts.  It has been ruled  case of Immerman) that such action is not acceptable and if a party is concerned that the other is being less than honest then an application to court is needed with a request to search their premises.  Sounds expensive, which is why "self help" grew up in the first place.  If you get it wrong - launch what is in effect a fishing expedition - then there are severe costs penalties.  What about the overriding objective of proportionality?

The only way to take another's documents is if they are left lying around the home (often happens - bank statements left on the breakfast table) or stored in a joint area - such as a shared desk or filing cabinet.

Marco Pierre White has recently won an apology and an out of court settlement from his wife's solicitors Withers as reported in The Telegraph. His wife was advised to take his personal documents - including a letter from his daughter - and Mr White decided to sue and got as far as the Court of Appeal  At the same time the case of Immerman was going through which confirmed that interference with another's documents was reprehensible and not to be upheld by the Courts.  Just to make it even worse for Withers Mr and Mrs White reconciled. 

That is the fascinating thing about family law - nobody can predict what will happen next.

So the advice is - have an open marriage!  

Not in that sense -know the facts before you separate and share information with each other - unless of course you are seeking to keep your money for yourself.

This latest development has been dubbed the cheats charter...

Sir Paul McCartney to remarry... great news for everyone..

The announcement that Sir Paul McCartney is to re wed has come just in time for the cynics and moaners who are still reeling from the apparent ecstatic happiness of The Royal Wedding couple.

This has given them lots to criticise.. no fool like an old fool type nastiness.

It has also given the rest of us pleasure that Sir Paul has again found happiness after a traumatic and draining experience with Miss Mills.  He has not sunk into bitterness and misery and self pity he has got on with his life.

A great lesson for divorcees everywhere...  including Miss Mills.

If you want to read more this article in The Guardian spells it out...