The Little Book of Divorce Questions is available now on Amazon .
In an agony of indecision?
Making such a decision is usually choosing the least worst option. It is a bit like deciding whether to have an abortion - you don't want an abortion or a baby. Both choices are not what you planned in life. In order to escape choosing what you don't want you live on in anxiety and pain. Pondering, pondering... should I stay or should I go? For some people this process can go on for many years. They turn to addictions to support them - alcohol, food, shopping, work, exercise.
Information is power. Working out what your options are can help you decide what you want.
Often money is a major consideration - even the very rich don't want to be less rich and there are lots of extremely wealthy people who are still together because they don't want to split their empire. So a question to ask yourself:
If the genie was before you and doubled your assets so that you could both have what you have now - would you leave?
A question for the less wealthy:
If you won the lottery would you:
A. Use it to build a new life with your partner.
B. Split it 50/50 and divorce.
C. Hide it from your partner and divorce.
Your honest answer to the above will tell you what you want.
My new book will answer a lot more questions like this.
Making such a decision is not an easy one and sometimes people choose to stay together because they cannot face the thought of an uncertain future with insufficient money. At least you can make the decision and then live with it - rather than anxiously considering if you are doing the right thing all the time.
The choice to separate and divorce will affect the rest of your life - make an informed choice from a position of strength. try to give yourself a break from the pressure and to allow yourself to accept that you are not perfect and that divorce and separation is not a sign of failure but a sign of strength and growth.
There are lots of resources to help people cope. Counselling can be a great support - provided you find the right counsellor for you.
There are also lots of resources online to help your children Bastows Children's Page has some useful links.
Whatever choice you make - be kind to yourself. There are no mistakes in life - only lessons.