Sunday, November 28, 2010

Judge says Punish Mothers who Refuse Fathers Contact with their Children


A Family Law Judge talks of 3 strikes and you are out in The Daily Mail

In other words if a mother refuses Contact with the father and defies a Court Order 3 times the children are moved to live with the father.

Problems with this approach:

1. Children suffer more - it does not work if the child is adamant that he wishes to remain with the mother and have no contact with the father. A recent case put a child in foster care and then had to return him to his mother as the child was so depressed.

2. Fathers who do not want their children to live with them - perhaps they have no room - the mother got the house maybe to accommodate the children in the divorce and the father has work commitments.

3. There could be valid reasons why Contact is being flouted

This is yet another punitive approach.

More resources should be channelled towards educating the parents - such as the Parenting Courses now available via the Courts.

What about a general acceptance that sometimes adult issues prevent children having a sustained and healthy relationship with either parent and that some people are just not very nice? After all if they do that to their own children how do they treat strangers?

There seems to be a focus in our society on people pursuing their own selfish ends and an obsession with their rights.

My suggestion:

There should be a presumption of Contact on Separation of at least every other weekend and the onus should be on the resident parent to show why this should not take place. Let us not forget how damaging and prevalent Domestic Violence is and the Courts should be able to assess the risk of this. After all that is their job!

4 comments:

Maddy said...

I don't want to be torn apart like the girl in the picture! Is that what will happen?

I am eight and a girl and I think mum and dad are splitting apart. (My sister says they are.)

How do I decide where to put my things if I live in two houses?

i am getting my anger out in my blog because I threw a nose (plastic one) at my teacher and that is not akseptible behavior.

You can read it if you like.

it is called I HATE BEING EIGHT

www.ihatebeingeight.blogspot.com

please answer the question about the things and what about my guinee pig?

Love

Maddy

Lynne Bastow said...

You are very mature for 8! You will not be torn apart if your parents are able to put your needs first. If they do separate you can choose where you want to keep your things - including your guinea pig. Most children live mainly with one parent so keep most of their things at that house and pack a bag to visit the other parent. For some children it is easier to have some toys and clothes at each house. Most children have so much stuff! Have a look at the CAFCASS website - there is a section for children and try to speak to an adult who can help - a teacher or a relative? Good luck and take care

national loans said...

I think is OK that mom to be punished when they refuse the access to father to see his child. Happy New Year to all!

Anonymous said...

A bad tempered father beat a good mother at least twice in front of kids to the point where police has to be involved, 1 of the kids end up in hospital because the father actions, father never wanted the kids and so avoid responsibilities by never doing anything for them since day one, suddenly the father wants access to the kids because the mother refuses to take him back, mother offers supervised visits bcs she fears father just wants revenge after been rejected, nobody listens to mother request for children’s safety, should this mother be punished bcs she seems to be the only one who sees the reality of the situation? What can a mother do when those so called professionals don’t do their job right? Why should a good mother suffer for the incompetence of others?