HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SPOUSE WANTS A DIVORCE
IF YOU ARE A MAN
1. A classic sign is INDIFFERENCE. Unfortunately, men often misinterpret this and think that their marriage has improved. A lack of nagging and fighting does not usually mean that your wife has settled down to accept that you can come and go as you please, treat the house like a hotel, throw your washing on the floor and fall asleep on the sofa every night.
An illustration. Years ago I knew a cleaner who worked 60 hours a week and brought up 3 children whilst her husband was a drunk. Her 14 year old son said to her that when he grew up he wanted a wife just like her. All his mates' mums were horrible, they locked out their husbands, threw their clothes out the windows of their high rise flats and generally screamed like fishwives if their husbands dared to come home drunk. His mother replied that the reason she made no fuss was that she did not care if his father never returned and with that changed the locks and her life by booting out her husband.
Expect a divorce petition in the mail if you regularly return home at 2am and questions are no longer asked.
2. YOUR WIFE'S APPEARANCE IMPROVES
Your wife may suddenly lose 3 stone (you might think it happened overnight but she has probably been on a diet for 6 months) or change her hairstyle and get a job she enjoys at last. This doesn't mean that she has found another man, more likely that she has found herself and she may discard you with the old frumpy image.
3. YOUR WIFE'S FRIENDS GET DIVORCED
This is the old safety in numbers. Plus, people tend to chose friends they have something in common with. So, if your wife is telling you that all her friends' husbands are rats beware, what is she telling them about you?
IF YOU ARE A WOMAN
1. HIS BEHAVIOUR WORSENS
The majority of divorce petitions in England are filed by women and the majority are based on behaviour, i.e., it is unreasonable to expect this woman to live with this man given his behaviour and her temperament.
Men are horrible then? Not necessarily. If a man wants a divorce, or out of any relationship for that matter, a throwback to chivalry makes it very difficult for a man to dump a woman. Therefore he will behave in such a way to make her dump him. Sometimes this backfires and there are plenty of doormats around, but generally, if he doesn't call it means he doesn't want to see you. Men accept women criticising them, they are used to it, what they have difficulty with is abandoning a woman, some just can't bear to see a woman cry. Anger they can cope with.
2. HE MEETS THE ONE
Lots of men have long term affairs which they consider separate to their marriage (especially if their wife has removed herself from the matrimonial bed) and would not dream of leaving their wife, children and home.
The worry is when he thinks he is truly in love for the first time ever, forgetting your courtship and how desperate he was to marry you twenty years ago. She will be 10 years younger than you, a work colleague, and he will buy her a bracelet, and take her to European cities for romantic breaks, and you will find out because he wants you to find out and divorce him!!!!!
SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE
Usually, by the time people decide to get divorced it is too late to save their marriage. An annual review is a good idea, like a car service or a medical, study your marriage together and plan the next 12 months. If this sounds like too much hard work, keep my number handy, you will probably need it in a few years!!!!!!!!!!!!