Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Change equals fear or excitement - You choose
I am grateful to Rosie Hamilton-McGinty for describing the difference between fear and excitement as parallel lines - like railway tracks. They are so close and the choice to switch is easy.
Think of a fairground ride - some are terrified and some relish the adrenalin rush. It's the same ride just a different perspective.
Divorce and separation means change and events happening that are out of your control. You can embrace the change and look forward to a new beginning. Perhaps a change in career as well as marital status - lots of people use forced change to implement wanted change as well.
Some people can't cope with the change and sink into depression to avoid facing the future. Some people are so afraid of change they use emotional blackmail to trap their partner - attempted suicide being the extreme. Divorce is stressful and painful for everyone. The first step in dealing with the change of separation, whether the choice is yours or not, is to accept that it is happening. Accept that you will lose your past life. Accept that you may be lonely, sad, fed up, lost and alone. Understand that everything changes. No one knows what lies ahead whether married or not. Something totally unexpected will happen in the next 4 weeks which will change your life. Mark the date in your diary and then look back in 4 weeks time and note what happened - good or bad that you did not expect. Isn't that exciting? We all have that life... do not fear life itself...