Some men are genuinely shocked when they receive a divorce petition. Mr Savva from Crouch End went to the Court of Appeal to defend his divorce on the basis that his wife lacked mental capacity - if she wanted to leave him then she must be mad and needed a psychiatric assessment. He did not succeed. The full story is reported in the Telegraph.
When my first marriage ended my husband used to come home from work later and later. I asked him to make sure he was home by 7 30pm. I used to call him every night to make sure he had left work to start preparing the evening meal. Then I stopped calling. He started arriving home at 9pm and had to feed himself. Then I divorced him and he was shocked saying he thought our marriage had improved because I had stopped nagging him and he could now do as he pleased.
So, for all you potentially surprised men out there, here are a few signs that your marriage may be over but you have not been told yet:
1. She stops nagging you - You can go on as many golfing holidays as you like, stay out all night, not text or phone her and there is no backlash. Unless your wife has been on a Tony Robbins weekend this is not a good sign. This is a sign that she no longer cares what you do.
2. Your wife moves out of the bedroom - this needs no explanation. Mr Savva's wife said she had slept alone for 8 years, He said it was because of her business paperwork, she needed space, the house was a mess. Unless you are a chronic snorer, and even then, there is only one explanation - she wants to get away from you.
3. Your wife takes a new interest in her appearance, loses weight, new clothes, plastic surgery. If your intimate relationship is also on the slide this could be a sign she has found or is looking for someone new.
4. Your wife has a new set of friends that she sees without you.
5. Anything else different that makes you feel uncomfortable. Men are not usually good at spotting these signs,but if something does not add up there is usually a reason for it.
If you are a woman the above list does not apply - men act differently when they move on and that is the subject of a future post...