Monday, October 02, 2006

The Ethics of Dating During Divorce


People often ask:

"Can I date now that we've started divorce proceedings?"

The answer most often is:


Amicable divorces can be turned into acrimonious divorces overnight if your spouse finds out. At the very least it will complicate financial issues and lead to questions concerning potential cohabitation. It can also affect the divorce itself, because behaviour after divorce proceedings have commenced is relevant.

Divorce is one of the most traumatic events an adult can go through and as such has an impact on your own, and your spouse's behaviour. So, even if your spouse has left you for someone else, expect a reaction if you start the dating game yourself. Divorce turns the most rational, fair minded individual into an irrational twin.

Sometimes of course, dating can be a deliberate attempt to get your partner's attention. Who can forget Princess Diana's revelations? However, the sad fact is that if your spouse wants out, has met another and no longer finds you desirable or attractive, dating someone new is not going to make him/her change his/her mind. What it may do though, is make him/her become more awkward, such as refusing to let you see the children because your new girlfriend has moved in, or refusing to have the kids overnight so that you can't go out without paying for a babysitter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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