Thursday, May 24, 2007

The Unintended Consequences of DIvorce

1. Your children will be hurt

Regardless of their age, disposition or gender your children will be hurt and they will be hurt...........forever. In her excellent book:

Adult Children of Divorce Speak Out

Claire Berman
points out that the pain and emptiness that children feel continues into adult life. Death, by contrast, is final.

Recent research into the impact of divorce on adult children of divorce suggests that divorce is the preferred option in abusive relationships but it still impacts badly on children's ability to form relationships in adult life and on their self esteem and achievement. Divorce may be the preferred option but it is still not a good one.

It throws a whole new light on the "staying together for the sake of the children argument". Accepting the collateral damage on your children in order to escape an abusive relationship is one thing, divorcing because you are bored is another......................


To be continued.............................

3 comments:

Orhan Kahn said...

Such a sad reality.

Divorced guy said...

Do you think continuing your relationship is a good idea just for the sake of your children even if love no longer exists?

Lynne Bastow said...

I think that ending a relationship will damage children more than living in a household with an atmosphere of indifference between their parents. However, if there is aggression and resentment this can also damage children's self esteem. Children have no choice but their parents actions can have far reaching consequences. Research suggests that the younger the child the less impact divorce and separation has. Personally, I divorced when my children were 10 and 5, the 10 year old still blames me and is now 19, the 5 year old is now 14 and says she is glad we divorced.