What's holding you back?

The main obstacle preventing people getting and doing what they want is themselves. Often a symptom of a lack of drive is not being able to get up in the morning. The universal excuse is "I'm not a morning person".

What if I gave you a million pounds to become one? Would you get up at 6am then? What is missing is the right motivation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When people go through relationship breakdown a side effect is extreme anxiety which prevents them sleeping. Turn this into a positive force, go to bed at 10pm and rise at 6am for 3 weeks and you will be amazed at the difference in your energy levels and the improvement you feel with an increasingly positive outlook.

3 weeks is the key because this is how long it takes a behaviour pattern to become a habit.

Good luck!!!!!!....... future post what to do with all that extra time!!!!!

Who are the Best 15 men in England?

The Best 15 men in England are:

1. Jonny Wilkinson
2. Matthew Tait
3. Mark Cueto
4. Jason Robinson
5. Paul Sackey
6. Mike Catt
7. Andy Gomarsall
8. Andrew Shreridan
9. Mark Regan
10. Phil Vickery
11. Simon Shaw
12. Ben Kay
13. Martin Corry
14. Lewis Moody
15. Nick Easter

CREDENTIALS

Work well as a team, fighting spirit, brave, tenacious, magnanimous in defeat, honest about their disappointment, accepting of official decisions that went against them, impeccable behaviour on and off the field. Fantastic comeback given their previous defeat. Amazing concession that they were defeated by a better team despite giving it their all!!!!!!!


Bag one if you can........they will be in demand!!!!!

Let's hope their performance is an inspiration to the rest of our country to be the best we can.

Roll on Rugby World Cup 2011!!!

One kiss or two?

Definitely two!

The BBC reports that we Brits are cringing because we no longer know how to greet each other.

Here are my preferred rules of engagement:

1. All meetings with clients

Handshake at start and finish of meeting. Use of title and surname.

2. Conclusion of matter with client

Handshake, kiss on each cheek and...... if it has been traumatic - hug! Use of forenames.

3. Friends

Kiss on each cheek - first name terms obviously!!!

4. Acquaintances

Handshake if man, kiss on each cheek if woman. Use of forenames unless they are of an older generation in which case respect demands that one uses their title and surname until they tell one otherwise.

5. All children under 10

Handshake, one kiss on cheek and ask them how they are and use their name in each sentence.

6. All children over 10

As friends

7. My family

Hugs and kiss on each cheek. Use of pet names

8. People whom I have never met whom I correspond with on a professional basis

Use of title and surname. It annoys me when mediators address me as Lynne when they would not recognise me in the street. Just because mediation is friendly does not mean that you are my friend. There are exceptions, fellow bloggers, people who comment on this blog, Law Society employees, the police, Neil Diamond, Al Gore, George Clooney - oops seem to have moved to my top ten men which is the subject of another post...

9. People whom I correspond with on a personal basis

As 8 above. I do not think my home insurance provider, based on another continent should address me by my first name. No doubt this is a sign that I am getting old.

10. Judges

District Judge - Sir/Madam
Circuit Judge - Your Honour

No physical contact

11. My boyfriend

Usually no contact on greeting. He hugs and kisses every other woman he knows which is how I know he likes me. He can, of course, say the same about me......

Nervous about going to Court?

This is a seasonal photo, looking forward to and celebrating Halloween, Bonfire night, crisp autumn evenings and the fact that we live in this country in this century!!!! What a fantastic deal.

I was in Court on my own matter last week, which was excellent at helping me understand how nervous my clients can be. Outwardly I didn't appear nervous but I lost my cool a few times at my ex husband's barrister and felt that I had to apologise to him. I know the saying that a solicitor who represents himself has a fool for a client but...... I have instructed another solicitor in the past and it cost me a fortune arguing with him. Basically he would not do what I wanted. In the end he did but he charged me for all those rows!!!! Deep down I knew I was right, not emotionally but legally and his "scared to take action" approach drove me mad. Which leads me on to.....

Before instructing a solicitor check out their approach to negotiation, risk and litigation. If you turn up with a black eye and they tell you that you may have difficulty obtaining an injunction then they are clearly risk averse. If they advise you to launch into an interim maintenance application when your ex has just lost his/her job they are clearly on the outer edges of risk taking!!!!

Anyway, what happened last week? The important thing in any negotiation is to work out what the other side wants, what's their deal breaker and what is their bottom line. This is not necessarily logical and something you don't value could be very important to them. It is also rarely obvious. What they say they want and what they really want can be very different.

I worked out what my ex wanted. I mentioned to his barrister that I wanted a word with him. I let him draft an order based on a contest. He then reminded me I wanted a word. I made the offer. He said it was the most bizarre thing he had ever heard but he was obliged to take instructions and went off.... A deal was struck much to the barrister's amazement.

What does Heather Mills want? It would appear fame and the chance to make the American public like her. What does Paul McCartney want? I would suggest never having to read or hear about his divorce and Heather Mills again. What should he offer her? The chance to write her book (who's going to want to read it anyway?) provided his publicist has the veto on anything controversial, this offer should limit substantially her pay off and he should offer to dedicate a song to her with all the proceeds going to her favourite charity. This would make Heather appear magnanimous, taking less money than she could and would help her to forget that she is famous principally because she married an extremely talented man!!!!! The alternative will cost him a lot more money. It's a bit like a parking fine.....just because one can afford it does not make it more palatable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you written your will?

Every year at least one of my clients or their spouse dies. It is always shocking and unexpected and happening in the middle of divorce proceedings is uncomfortable and embarrassing for the spouse who is left behind, some might say a great relief but it never is.

Have you written your will?

Do you want your soon to be ex spouse to be in charge of your funeral arrangements?

A will is not expensive (£80.00 plus VAT)

I am in the process of re drafting my own will.

What do you want to happen at your funeral?

Mine will be at the Ritz and only 17 people are invited - 2 live abroad, 2 are not speaking to me and 2 are on the list to please my children. One is likely to change - which is my current love interest, assuming I am on this planet for another decade or more!!!!!

Ready to tie the knot?

Thinking of getting married?

Not sure if he/she is the one?

What questions should you be asking?

Here's my check list:

1. Do you fancy him/her?

Quick test - if anyone was to text you now who would you most want it to be? Be honest with yourself and if it is not him/her call off the wedding.

2. Do you like him/her?

Odd question but it is amazing how many couples actively loath each other despite the sexual chemistry. Imagine you are at a dinner party and he/she is retelling a tale you have heard many times before. How do you feel? Slightly bored is OK but ready to decapitate him/her is not. The best response is fond amusement and attentive listening but you're probably a saint if this is your reaction.

3. Do you make each other laugh or at least smile?

A shared sense of humour goes a long way to easing life's scary moments. If his/her jokes make you cringe already beware, you will become more and more exasperated as you hear the same old puns.

4. Are your finances in line?

If one of you is extravagant and the other is a saver there will be trouble ahead.

5. Why do you think he/she is marrying you?

Is it love? Or is it your bank balance/body/fame....? Fill in the gap which fits your profile, deep down you will know...... Have you found an e mail she sent to a friend saying she has hit the jackpot? Have you heard him tell his mother that you will get pregnant and leave work in 12 months?

6. Can you at least tolerate each other's friends and family?

If you hate his/her friends life will be hard, if you hate his/her family life will be harder!!!!

7. Do you both have the same attitude towards having children?

8. As above but substitute pets for children.

This is a big clue, if he/she hates your cat/dog the competition will become unbearable.

9. Can you communicate?

Do you tell each other what you want? Do you look forward to hearing about each other's day? Do you have to read between the lines....... My boyfriend and I are going to a 60th Birthday party tonight. I have shown him my dress which is full length. He has now called me to tell me that I will look out of place in a long dress and that I should wear a mini skirt!!!! He is obviously nuts if he thinks I will fall for that one and he will be very disappointed with my wedding dress if we should ever marry!!!!!!!!!!!

Divorce Barbie!!!

My friends keep texting me this joke:

A father was on his way home and decided to buy his daughter a Barbie. He stopped at a toy store and noticed that there was a Shopping Barbie, a Beach Barbie and a Disco Barbie which were all £19.95. There was also a Divorce Barbie for £265.00.

"Why is the Divorce Barbie so much more expensive?" asks the dad.

The salesman answered " That's because Divorce Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's boat, Ken's computer, Ken's furniture and one of Ken's mates!!!!!!

It is a joke but.......humour based on truth. Recent, high profile, big money, divorce cases have spot lighted a legal system which appears unfair to wealthy individuals!!!

I have said this many, many times. If you are richer than your partner, don't get married, or at least don't live in this country!!! And you must, must, must get a pre nup!!!!

Want more help with your divorce?

John Bolch at Family Lore has done a round up of the other family law blogs he is aware of and I'm happy to follow suit!!!!!!!!!!

Some people want to talk about their divorce non stop and want to read everything they can to help them understand the bewildering process they are going through. Just for you , I recommend the following blogs:

Family lore

This is a regular update of what is happening in family law by John Bolch. For the religious among you beware, he does not hold back on his views about how ridiculous religion is!!! He did a particularly funny post about the Muslim veil court drama!

Judith's family law blog

This is, in Judith's own words "reflections and emotions associated with divorce".

Bloody relations

The only thing I can say against the barrister who pens this blog is that she supports Arsenal, and I am a Saints fan! She knows her stuff!!! Might challenge her to a pub quiz on football though!

Pink Tape

A blog by another barrister, clever name after the tape used to bind barrister's briefs.

This blog has been targeted by commentators seeking to overhaul the Family Justice System!

If you still crave more try reading Harry Potter - very diverting!!!!!

Still wearing your wedding ring?

Anne Robinson, as pictured in that tabloid daily I pretend I don't read but always look at my mother's copy

The Daily Mail

is still wearing her wedding ring despite announcing that her marriage is over. Apparently Miss Robinson and her husband have reached an amicable financial settlement and have agreed to divorce.

Why wear the ring then?

Maybe because:

1. It's very nice.

2. Miss Robinson bought it.

3. Miss Robinson never takes it off and simply forgot!

4. Miss Robinson can't get it off!!!!!

5. Miss Robinson wants her husband to see her wearing it and sweep her off her feet.

6. Miss Robinson has a shortage of jewellery.

Of the above, I think 3 is the most likely and 5 the most unlikely but I have been wrong before.

I am wearing my wedding ring today.

Is it because:

1. It's very nice. (yes)

2. I bought it. (no)

3. I simply forgot. (no)

4. I can't get it off. (no)

5. I want my ex to find out and sweep me off my feet. (no, definitely not!!!)

6. I have a shortage of jewellery. (yes)

Best not to read too much into things then..........