Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Can reconciliation work?


Maybe, rarely, not in my experience.

Surprisingly, it is typically couples who have gone through the most acrimonious divorce who choose to reconcile.

It is reported in the Daily Mail that Heather Mills and Sir Paul McCartney are flirting with the idea of reconciling. ( see post 23rd October 2006 - Heather Mills and Paul McCartney) Remember Richard Burton and Liz Taylor?

A likely scenario is a reconciliation, with a 12-18 month honeymoon period followed by 6-12 months of extreme acrimony and misery followed by a final split.

There is something to be said for getting it out of your system, but...........................

If you are considering reconciling with your spouse remember:

1. He/she will not change. If what drove you apart is still there but buried it will re surface even more pungent in about 12 months.

2. Issues need to be aired and dealt with, be they violence, money or infidelity. Sorry is not enough.

3. Most people will think you are mad and your social life will be difficult with a lot of people still smarting from the fall out of the initial split.

4. When the chemistry is spent all you will have left is a partner you should never have married in the first place.

5. Only if you genuinely like each other and are prepared to be true friends will it work.

4 comments:

Orhan Kahn said...

Issues need to be aired and dealt with, be they violence, money or infidelity. Sorry is not enough.

Amen. Married, engaged or currently dating this should be a rule excercised regularly.

Mr Pineapples said...

Doesnt number 4 wipe out all of the others? Not sure what "chemistry" is anyway? Don't you think the media shapes the way couples imagine what the relationship should feel like? When the reality doesnt shape up then it's quits.

All a load of vapid nonsense (the media I mean - not your blog).

Lynne Bastow said...

Mr Pineapples, shame on you not knowing what chemistry is, you need to fall in love!

Lynne Bastow said...

Orhan,

It's a bit like a lot of self imposed rules, easier to say than do, but who said life should be easy........