Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Enjoy your Christmas?
Spending fun time with friends and family can bond couples together and add fond memories to their loving relationship. It can also make unhappy couples realise just how unhappy they are!!
If this is you and you want out then the most difficult first step is telling your partner. Some people engineer an argument, some ask a third party to sit in the room, some agonise for weeks and some just blurt it out.
The next step, working out whether to separate, divorce, where to live, what happens to the children, the finances, can be overwhelming and the pace is usually set by the one who initiates proceedings.
Divorce exists because people don't want to be together any more. Some people regard this as selfish, some as a signal of the breakdown of the moral backbone of our society and some as the evil machinations of divorce lawyers!
Some people choose to divorce, some have it forced upon them, some people accept it and some people fight it.
Trying to work out what went wrong and why can drive you mad!
Here is some simple advice from me as a divorce solicitor:
1. It takes 1 person to initiate a divorce but 2 people to engage in a battle.
2. Some people are unreasonable and impossible - you know if you are married to one of these and deep down you know if you are one of these. If either or both of you are like this your divorce will be worse.
3. It is not easy to get divorced - do not expect it to be.
4. If you pay for legal advice at least give it due consideration.
5. If your partner has bullied you for years get some emotional support through your divorce to ensure that you are no longer bullied post divorce, especially if you have children together.
6. Work out your bottom line and don't go below it.
7. Keep busy - depression looms for those who dwell on their fate over much
Here is some simple advice from me as a divorcee:
1. It is worth going through it to come out the other side.