The New York Times
have produced an eminently sensible list of questions to ask your future spouse.
IF YOU ARE UGLY AND RICH
Are you marrying me for my money?
IF YOU ARE POOR AND GORGEOUS
Are you marrying me for my looks?
IF YOU ARE A MAN AND THE WOMAN YOU HAVE BEEN DATING FOR 2 YEARS WEARS A DIFFERENT OUTFIT EACH TIME YOU SEE HER?
How much money do you spend on clothes?
IF YOU ARE A WOMAN AND THE MAN YOU HAVE BEEN DATING FOR 2 YEARS ALWAYS WEARS THE SAME JACKET
How often do you wash?
IF YOU ARE PAUL McCARTNEY
Are you marrying me for my fame and fortune?
IF THE ANSWER IS NO
Do you mind if we use a lie detector?
IF YOU ARE A MIDDLE AGED ENGLISH WOMAN MARRYING A TURKISH WAITER
Are you marrying me to try and move to England?
IF YOU ARE MARRYING ZARA PHILLIPS OR ANY OTHER ANIMAL LOVER
If your horse and I were both ill, which one would you sit up all night with?